What the fuck is wrong with people? They obviously don't think before they speak. No consideration for others. No thought goes into what consequences their words will have. It's simple science really. Every action has an equal or opposite reaction. EVERY ACTION. The ugly things you say about a person may very well be the very thing that jeopardizes a wanted outcome.
Hm. Maybe I'm old-fashioned. It surely seems like more and more people are losing sight of what bonds are. Regardless of what perception of it all you have. Life is the same for everyone. We all are trying to reach certain goals. Aren't we? Even when depression plagues me, I have a brighter light in mind. When darkness makes me feel weak, I still seek a more positive view.
Do you believe in happiness? Have you touched it? Sometimes it seems like a myth. I'm steady reaching out to others. Like helping them gives me purpose. My life doesn't seem meaningful without positive interactions with others. Deep personal connections. And you...you can't fathom it. Because your life goals differ from mine. Or you don't have goals? OR they're selfish. I look out for myself too. It's a sad realization that if I don't, no one else will.
I waited for months for this part of my life. I felt an eager anticipation grow. And I told him that it would come. That there would be someone we needed to help. Our path has lead us to so many points that seemed so clearly to be. You ever experience that? When you just KNOW something was meant to happen. You may not believe in God. Do you believe in coincidence? Meh. Guess it doesn't matter. It won't change my mindset either way. I've learned from my experiences. And if you haven't reached that part of your life yet, then me telling you something won't influence your thoughts either.
When I tell people that we have a 'homeless' couple living with us. They seem shocked. It's not surprising to me. Considering we were homeless for 8 months or longer. Not many took us in. When they did help us out, they wanted something. Don't get me wrong...it's not that I felt like I didn't owe them. Because I did. They wanted dish soap, toilet paper, a babysitter, a maid, a cook, a certified nurses assistant, a puppet. I can almost see them all chanting. 'Dance for me puppet, dance!!!' And I did. Even though it was sloppy. More jumping then dancing. No happiness in my steps. Even though my own goals were put on hold to help meet their own, a fear of being displaced remained. Like all I was throwing my life away for was still uncertain. My bed wasn't promised. It had to be earned. Life isn't free. There's no denying this. But where was the kind hearted individual with extra space that just wanted to share. That just wanted to put their unused space to use. There were none. It was wake now, steal this, fill this out, wipe my ass, don't take too long in the shower, ect. I want to go against the norm. I have compassion to offer.
My kindness is confused for weakness. My strength misunderstood for craziness. When they walked all over me, I bit my tongue. When I stood up for myself I was physcotic. Why? Because I raised my voice to be heard after being ignored several times? Because I spoke out to defend my guidelines. After all, they are to protect the safety and well-being of my family. My most common mistake is believing that there is good in all people. Sometimes there's no analyzing of it all, despite my efforts.
Anyways...that's my rant. Unorganized thoughts. Random, maybe. It's my life.
'Love me, or hate me. It's still an obsession. Love me, or hate me. That's the question. And if you love me, then thank you. And if you hate me, then fuck you.' -Lady Sovereign
